Wrestling Well Through a Hard Season {an (in)courage guest post}

“I have one question for you,” she said, leaning on the kitchen counter.

Dirty dishes in hand, I stopped loading the dishwasher and looked at my friend.

“Have you said goodbye?”

Her words were gentle yet pulsed with concern.

My eyes slid closed to hold the tears at bay; I bit my lip to quell its quiver.

My sister’s death was eighteen months behind me, but I was still slogging through the muck of grief.  I didn’t want to hear this question, much less ponder and act on it. Saying goodbye meant letting go and I was not ready to face the finality it would bring.

Three days later, my friend, Anna, and I attended a getaway with a few friends. Her question had not left me since she released it into the air.

I opened my journal in the quiet hours of the last morning of the trip and started writing. My pencil scratched furiously, unspoken words pouring forth from its tip. Tears dripped down my nose as the things left unsaid made their way from the shadows of my heart to the page bathed in light from the window.

I reached the end of the second page, signed my name, and let the journal fall to the floor. Turning to look at Anna, I said the words at the exact moment I realized what had just happened…

Join me at (in)courage to read the rest of the story.