The One Where Jon Acuff’s Tweet Made Me Speak

I came across this Tweet from Jon Acuff last night that made me all sorts of angry.

My desire to engage anyone on Twitter has been lacking most of the year (because it’s been one hell of a year), and I rarely reply to tweets (other than occasional replies to Anna’s or Jen Hatmaker’s tweets), but this one caught me in the gut and I was compelled to use my cyber voice and be heard.

Why did I reply?

Because I am tired, literally exhausted, of trying to be heard and seen in a world that is powered by and caters to extroverts.

Yes, I tell everyone I meet that I’m an introvert.
It’s a boundary-setting practice.
It’s a sanity-saver.
It’s a plea that you understand I need space.

I don’t have the energy to endure endless small talk or hours upon hours of being with people.

Some days I can fake being an extrovert quite well. (I did it for four months straight this year.)

Some days I can’t.

Some days/weeks/months, the reality of a cyclical battle with isolating depression and crushing anxiety shows up to the party.
Add an ugly wrestling match with grief and I have exceeded my ability to cope with all. the. extroversion.

And no—it’s not any one person who has driven me to the edge.

I live with the world’s most extroverted person, no doubt. (Everyone who knows me, knows this.)

But I’m addressing the larger scope of introversion vs. extroversion.

I’m putting my words out into the world because if I don’t, I am not being true to me.

By replying to Acuff’s tweet last night, I gave myself permission to be an introvert. An introvert who is currently struggling with finding ways to feed her introverted soul. An introvert who is fighting to keep using her words when all she really wants to do is curl up in a ball and hide from the world. An introvert who battles hourly against the voices of depression, anxiety, and grief that tell her she’s not worth fighting for.

So yes, I WILL keep saying I’m an introvert.

Bluebonnets and Best Friends: The Summer of Endless Miles, Day 1

The first stop on the #EpicBookTourTPD was Temple, TX on April 1st. We joined a small group of new friends for a lunch meet-up and spent the night with our friend (and my #the4500 twin), Taylor.

After lunch, we ran some errands—which included an impromptu photo shop in a bluebonnet field by a gas station. I’d spent the previous weeks rolling my eyes at all the bluebonnet photo shoots that filling up my Facebook newsfeed, not quite convinced about all the hype these flowers produced in my Texan friends. So when we passed this field, Taylor and Anna insisted on continuing my initiation as a true Texas resident.

As we traipsed into the field, they warned of snakes. Then, when we found a spot that would provide a background free from street signs and buildings, they decided we should lie down. Um, excuse me? Didn’t you just tell me to watch for snakes? And now you want me to lie on the ground??? Yes, that was exactly the plan.

So we did.

As much as I don’t get the whole bluebonnets thing, I will admit  this was a fun photo shoot that I will always remember.

Because of my sister’s creative eye behind a camera, I’m certainly no stranger to unconventional photo sessions and this one was the first I’d participated in for a while. An impromptu bluebonnet photo session with two of my closest friends was definitely not a bad way to start an epic book tour.